Tuesday, May 22, 2012

On turning 30

The following was a letter I wrote to my friends the day I turned 30 (before blogs really hit the scene).  I came upon it recently and had to include it for my daughter's sake.  Stay tuned for 'On turning 40', coming to this blog, much too soon.

Since I go into everything reflectively, in search of meaning....(ok, so it's a really a need to be dramatic), I thought I'd share some thoughts with those who have watched me grow (and, thank you, I know it wasn't pretty), on turning 30.  In two more days, I will be exiting my 20's forever. In spite of rationalizing yesterday that I was really turning 20-10, not 30, that notion is not generally accepted by society, so I have accepted to live with the term.
Turning 30 to me means leaving an era and beginning a new journey (I told you this would be dramatic). An era of a completely unsettled nature, discontent, confused, ambitious, energetic, full of "angst", discovering, disappointed way of life. Sound like my teens? No, I spent that in complete ignorance, which we all know is bliss.  When my eyes opened, THAT'S when the heartache began! If you start to feel bad for me, don't.  I have only one regret.  That my relationships with boys took top priority.  I missed many opportunities to become a more interesting person (ie. joining the peace corps, going to Ireland for a summer for a grad school class) because I was always tied up with some loser who I "needed" to be happy.  Other than that, I feel like I risked big and landed safely. Praise God. I learned a lot about people and relationships in my 20's, and this is the thing I value most. Being apart from my family and friends as I exit is very sad for me. The very people who pulled me through, taught me about life, loved me unconditionally, and struggled to make sense of it all right with me.  I realized last night that the friends I made in my twenties were the real deal.  You definitely saw the worst of me and (hopefully some of the best).
Although I'll miss you all during this time of celebration, I can't think of anyone I'd rather spend my day with than my husband. For the past month, I've been mourning the fact that for the first birthday ever, I won't be partying it up with my girls! THESE are the people that have carried me through year to year! I can remember an awesome celebration for nearly every year of my twenty-something birthdays! What a blessing! But if someone were to ask me at 25 "How do you want to be celebrating your 30th?" I would have said "I seriously hope I'm having a nice relaxing day with my husband by then." The hope of a husband, fulfilled. And not just any old husband, one that was specifically designed for me, one I never knew existed, wasn't looking for. Our meeting was serendipitous, a blessing I didn't even know to ask for (thank you to those who did know and did ask for me).
What I look forward to is being content. I still have a long way to go to achieve that, but I've come a LONG way. It's a lot easier since my renewed faith in God. But I foresee a new struggle...ageing! With all this new Extreme Makeover craze, I'm hooked! I cry every week as I see an ugly duckling turn in to a swan. I retreat to the mirror to analyze my imperfections and what just "a little" nip and tuck could do. I'm beginning to notice new cellulite, wrinkles, blah, blah, you get the idea. And I catch myself entering new territory of discontentedness. But I'm sure I'll get a grip on my vanity before going under any knives. Like anything else, I'll grieve what I don't have, be grateful for what I do have and move on...to...CHILDREN.
Probably the biggest prospect of my 30s (God-willing). And I just don't want to go there for some reason. I like to speak what I know and that ain't it. But a great way of learning to accept imperfections REAL quick from what I hear
I just want to send a shout out to my posse (I'll talk like a 30 year old when I feel like it, ok?) for always having my back and sharing some wonderful (ly excruciating) years with me.

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

The month of ME (I mean, May)!

Can I help it if my birthday, anniversary, Mother's Day AND Military Spouse Appreciation day all fall in the same month?  That is why I have officially deemed this month "The month of ME" (official only to the Emenheiser family-of-four until it catches on among my social network, extended family, neighbors, etc).  The three of you will be reminded of this throughout your life, during this month, on certain occasions such as my being asked to scratch your back, rub your feet, if I'm really going to have a third piece of chocolate cake, why I need another pedicure in the same month, why I need that shirt in four colors and if you can have the remote.  You get the picture.

This year, we kicked things off on May 8 with dinner at Houlihan's with two of my favorite people.

We got a sitter for Marielle, cause she's at an age where she likes to scream and that takes the focus off of, well....me.
But we will be glad to add you to the celebration next year when you are able to announce to strangers that it is "my mommy's birthday!!", like your sister does.
Daddy surprised me in the morning with some beautiful....stems.  He promises they will bloom eventually.  Something to look forward to.

The celebration continued a week later at Hilton Head for Mother's Day weekend.

I shopped for new clothes and ate at a buffet (in that order...don't try this in reverse).  Add a trip to the beach with my darling girls and handsome husband, and you have my idea of a perfect day.

So, as we approach our 9th wedding anniversary in a few days, I am looking forward to dinner and the latest chick-flick.  I will disguise this as my gift to Daddy, and he will wonder how he got suckered, once again.  But then he will remember that he married me because I'm savvy like that.

Daddy will leave the next day for Ft. Polk, LA for a month-long training.  This is not condusive to the month of ME, but the Army hasn't caught on yet.  I'm not holding my breath.