On turning 30

The following was a letter I wrote to my friends the day I turned 30 (before blogs really hit the scene).  I came upon it recently and had to include it for my daughter's sake.  Stay tuned for 'On turning 40', coming to this blog, much too soon.

Since I go into everything reflectively, in search of meaning....(ok, so it's a really a need to be dramatic), I thought I'd share some thoughts with those who have watched me grow (and, thank you, I know it wasn't pretty), on turning 30.  In two more days, I will be exiting my 20's forever. In spite of rationalizing yesterday that I was really turning 20-10, not 30, that notion is not generally accepted by society, so I have accepted to live with the term.
Turning 30 to me means leaving an era and beginning a new journey (I told you this would be dramatic). An era of a completely unsettled nature, discontent, confused, ambitious, energetic, full of "angst", discovering, disappointed way of life. Sound like my teens? No, I spent that in complete ignorance, which we all know is bliss.  When my eyes opened, THAT'S when the heartache began! If you start to feel bad for me, don't.  I have only one regret.  That my relationships with boys took top priority.  I missed many opportunities to become a more interesting person (ie. joining the peace corps, going to Ireland for a summer for a grad school class) because I was always tied up with some loser who I "needed" to be happy.  Other than that, I feel like I risked big and landed safely. Praise God. I learned a lot about people and relationships in my 20's, and this is the thing I value most. Being apart from my family and friends as I exit is very sad for me. The very people who pulled me through, taught me about life, loved me unconditionally, and struggled to make sense of it all right with me.  I realized last night that the friends I made in my twenties were the real deal.  You definitely saw the worst of me and (hopefully some of the best).
Although I'll miss you all during this time of celebration, I can't think of anyone I'd rather spend my day with than my husband. For the past month, I've been mourning the fact that for the first birthday ever, I won't be partying it up with my girls! THESE are the people that have carried me through year to year! I can remember an awesome celebration for nearly every year of my twenty-something birthdays! What a blessing! But if someone were to ask me at 25 "How do you want to be celebrating your 30th?" I would have said "I seriously hope I'm having a nice relaxing day with my husband by then." The hope of a husband, fulfilled. And not just any old husband, one that was specifically designed for me, one I never knew existed, wasn't looking for. Our meeting was serendipitous, a blessing I didn't even know to ask for (thank you to those who did know and did ask for me).
What I look forward to is being content. I still have a long way to go to achieve that, but I've come a LONG way. It's a lot easier since my renewed faith in God. But I foresee a new struggle...ageing! With all this new Extreme Makeover craze, I'm hooked! I cry every week as I see an ugly duckling turn in to a swan. I retreat to the mirror to analyze my imperfections and what just "a little" nip and tuck could do. I'm beginning to notice new cellulite, wrinkles, blah, blah, you get the idea. And I catch myself entering new territory of discontentedness. But I'm sure I'll get a grip on my vanity before going under any knives. Like anything else, I'll grieve what I don't have, be grateful for what I do have and move on...to...CHILDREN.
Probably the biggest prospect of my 30s (God-willing). And I just don't want to go there for some reason. I like to speak what I know and that ain't it. But a great way of learning to accept imperfections REAL quick from what I hear
I just want to send a shout out to my posse (I'll talk like a 30 year old when I feel like it, ok?) for always having my back and sharing some wonderful (ly excruciating) years with me.
Karen

The month of ME (I mean, May)!

Can I help it if my birthday, anniversary, Mother's Day AND Military Spouse Appreciation day all fall in the same month?  That is why I have officially deemed this month "The month of ME" (official only to the Emenheiser family-of-four until it catches on among my social network, extended family, neighbors, etc).  The three of you will be reminded of this throughout your life, during this month, on certain occasions such as my being asked to scratch your back, rub your feet, if I'm really going to have a third piece of chocolate cake, why I need another pedicure in the same month, why I need that shirt in four colors and if you can have the remote.  You get the picture.

This year, we kicked things off on May 8 with dinner at Houlihan's with two of my favorite people.

We got a sitter for Marielle, cause she's at an age where she likes to scream and that takes the focus off of, well....me.
But we will be glad to add you to the celebration next year when you are able to announce to strangers that it is "my mommy's birthday!!", like your sister does.
Daddy surprised me in the morning with some beautiful....stems.  He promises they will bloom eventually.  Something to look forward to.

The celebration continued a week later at Hilton Head for Mother's Day weekend.

I shopped for new clothes and ate at a buffet (in that order...don't try this in reverse).  Add a trip to the beach with my darling girls and handsome husband, and you have my idea of a perfect day.

So, as we approach our 9th wedding anniversary in a few days, I am looking forward to dinner and the latest chick-flick.  I will disguise this as my gift to Daddy, and he will wonder how he got suckered, once again.  But then he will remember that he married me because I'm savvy like that.

Daddy will leave the next day for Ft. Polk, LA for a month-long training.  This is not condusive to the month of ME, but the Army hasn't caught on yet.  I'm not holding my breath.

We're coming to PA!

The thought of driving 12+ hours by myself with both girls at this particular age is, well, ridiculous, really.  I mean, it's hard enough catering to their every need while Barrett is driving and I'm trying to relax and read my magazines!  But when Barrett announced that he was going to JRTC for nearly a month, I decided I needed to be with my family.  I almost had written the idea off as something that was simply not possible.  But it doesn't take much self-doubt before I ask myself "Who says you can't do this??"  Then God chimed in with the encouragement and insight I needed to set forth on this journey.  God opened my eyes to how simple this journey is as far as He is concerned.  The Alpha and Omega, omnicient and omnipotent, Creator of all things, has seen, in simple terms, worse.  He reminded me of the journey that Joseph and Mary took from Jeruselum to Bethlehem.  On a donkey, very pregnant.  Only to arrive in a city where they would find no warm place to lay their heads.  Only a stable, where Mary would then give birth.  Without drugs.  I was humbled at the thought of gas stations every 5 miles and McDonalds every 10.  A car with a DVD player, AC and a lakehouse to stop at along the way.  We will arrive at my parents home where we will be received with open, loving arms.  Needless to say, I no longer fear, but rejoice.  Thank you God for showing me the bigger picture.  And for being a passenger in all my journeys.

My paintings

Before I got married, I took some oil painting classes.  Turns out I am good at mixing colors and have pretty good hand-eye coordination.  I am lacking in the creative department.  I can look at something and copy it pretty well, but do not have the mind to create something from an image in my mind's eye.  This is a painting of a photo I took outside of a bakery in Maastricht, Netherlands.  I was a guest of Rhonda St. Peters, a friend from Daddy's Captain's Career Course after we got married.  We became friends, so I visited her while Daddy was in Iraq for the second time, in 2006.  I gave her this painting as a 'thank you' for hosting me.

 I 'stole' this idea from a painter in Newport, RI.  It was hanging in a gallery and I loved the simplicity and color.  I found it on his website and replicated it.  I suppose it's not illegal or immoral as long as I don't try and sell it!

 I worked on this painting while Daddy was in Iraq the first time (2005).  It is a painting of a photo we had taken at our wedding.  We gave it to Grandma and Granddad as a Christmas present.

 This one also now belongs to my friend, Rhonda.  I took the photo in Heidelburg, Germany, the town where she once lived, while vacationing there with your Grandma Karen.

 I painted the roses during one of my classes in Savannah, GA.  I gave it to Grandma Karen as a Mother's day gift one year.  Unfortunately, I could not find it when Grandpa Emenheiser moved out of their Lebanon, PA home.  No one knows what happened to it.

 This was just a fun painting I was trying out.  I didn't love it, so I gave it to a coworker at the time who did.

 I found this picture in a calender.  It's a part of Central Park.

I don't paint often.  I don't have an ideal place to do it, I dislike the clean-up and really, who has the time?  I will return to it one day.  I do love the finished product.

Boyz II Men

There is a saying "A daughter is a daughter for life, a son is a son till he takes his wife".  This makes me glad I have two girls.  You will always need Mommy and Daddy for a certain kind of nurturing you can't find anywhere else.  But your husbands will be the most important relationship you will have other than the one you have with God.  It is in this relationship that God will complete His work in you.  So, needless to say I am praying for the life of this man even now, while he is still a child, baby or maybe not even born yet.  I pray for his parents and home life.  His education.  His walk with the Lord.  He will be your Prince Charming as long as you don't settle for the frogs along the way.

  We know that dating is a necessary way to understand your likes and dislikes, so we have prepared for that day, too.

Your current dates are supervised, so we don't interrogate them like we will your future escorts.

He is risen!

Eas·ter (str)

NOUN:

1. A Christian feast commemorating the Resurrection of Jesus.
2. The day on which this feast is observed, the first Sunday following the full moon that occurs on or next after the vernal equinox.
3. Eastertide.

While we enjoy participating in secular-world fun, such as the Easter bunny, Easter egg hunts, Santa Clause, etc., we must not ever take lightly the true meaning of such holidays.  They are times to remember and meditate on the sacrifices made and love shown to us while we were still sinners (Romans 5:8).  I hope that one day, that fact resonates through your soul in a way that makes you want to weep and mourn over your sins and then shout with joy for the beautiful and perfect gift you were freely given.  Until then, we will dress you up in cute clothes and let you look for chocolate-filled Easter eggs.

Sweet faces

I got a new camera last week and am having so much fun capturing these silly, adorable, precious expressions!

You girls make it so easy for me to get good shots.  Just by being your sweet selves.

 And sometimes, you catch me by surprise by getting into a stamp and using it as lipstick.  On our way to a photo shoot.

 However, I doubt this picture would be half as cute without that little surprise.  In fact, "thank you"...I can't wait to display this at your HS graduation or wedding.

 A little later at an Easter egg hunt, eating cotton candy.  Oh, how I swore my children would not know the taste of sugar before age 5.....  I can't help myself.  You enjoy it so.